Sunday, January 30, 2005

FIGHT WUSSIFICATION - VOTE KINKY!



Best Bumper Sticker of 2005: My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy!

Kinky Friedman , the outrageous Texas son is gunning for Rick Perry's job. He is serious as a heart attack about it, too.

If you are of my generation, you will remember Kinky and the Texas Jewboys as an outlaw band of the 70's, with song titles like: "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore". The most politically incorrect fellow you ever wanna meet, Kinky is an original. Famous for his music, mystery novels such as "Armadillos and Old Lace", fat smelly stogies, and a quick wit, Texans could fare far worse than Kinky in the Governor's Mansion (and currently do).

"Oh, but what about his checkered past?", you ask. Well, at least Kinky does not pretend to be more than he is, will tell you straight up that all his bones were out of the closet a long time ago.

Courtesy of our no-longer-locally-owned newspaper, I share these Kinkyisms:

EDUCATION:
"I think we're 48th in funding for public education. The only states below us are West Virginia, New Mexico and Arkansas. That means Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi are ahead of us. When Mississippi is ahead of you, you've got a problem."

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT:
"We're No. 1 in only one thing - executions. I'm not anti-death penalty. But I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed."

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
"People are nervous. They're afraid to say 'Merry Christmas'. Afraid to light up a cigar. We didn't get to be the Lone Star State by being politically correct. America's last stand is Texas...I want to take things back to a time when cowboys all sang and their horses were smart. I'm looking to evoke an older, richer spirit of Texas. I'm going to fight this wussification of Texas if I have to do it one wuss at at time."

RELIGION:
"I'm not really a charismatic atheist. I have Jesus and Moses in my heart. They were both independents, by the way".

DRUG ABUSE:
"Us Jews have had cocaine around for thousands of years. We call it HORSERADISH...I admire people who struggle with their demons and conquer them.

CHESS:
"Willie [Nelson] and I play, on his [tour] bus, usually. He's very good and very fast. An instinctive player. Of course, you need to wear scuba gear to avoid the second-hand-smoke."

CAMPAIGN SPENDING:
"More than $100 million was spent in the last gubernatorial race by the two candidates for a job that pays $115,000. That smells fishy to most of us. Something is wrong with that picture. I've always said a fool and his money are soon elected. But not this time around. The guy with the most money shouldn't always win."


Kinky has an editorial column regularly in the Texas Monthly magazine. However, due to his upcoming candidacy, March will be the last issue Kinky will be allowed to post. I'll miss reading his page, but look forward to his sure-to-be controversial stump speeches.

The new battle cry of "Why the Hell Not?" will ring out this Thursday from the steps of the Alamo, where Kinky will kick off his campaign. To quote David Casstevens of the Cowtown Star-Telegram, "Rick Perry, Meet Your Nightmare!"

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oooh! I think I've fallen in l-o-v-e, again! That Kinky is like a breath of fresh air. So he's not a charismatic aetheist, huh? I like that in a man. Thanks for the posting.
Cop Car

Kimberly said...

Oh, yes, I do remember the Texas Jewboys. If I still lived in Texas, Kinky would have my vote over Rick Perry.

another lisa said...

it sounds like your politicians are much more colourful than ours up in Canada! btw..I like your new colourful sidebar...

Anonymous said...

Damn - wish I still lived in Taxes. I'd vote for Kinky.

Also, love the new look...

Elisson said...

Y'all could do a lot worse than electin' the Kinkster. He's got plenty more brains than Jesse Ventura and Aahh-nuld rolled together - and if he saw something rolled together, he'd probably try to smoke it.

I just read his book "'Scuse me While I Whip This Out" a couple of months ago. And it's autographed, too! In yer face, Rick Perry!

Hokule'a said...

I may be a citizen of the Great Lone Star State in time to vote for him. I like everything but the smoking part... but that aside... make noise about Jessie and Arnold, but they are/were a heck of a lot better than what they replaced and perhaps this is a needful thing everywhere. Fresh Air.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Come ON! The Kinkman is friendly with DON IMUS fergod's sake! The only way I'd vote for him is if he was runnin' fer Texas Poet Laureate. Get Real.

BTW did Warren Oates ever acknowledge Kinky as his own little wild oate?

Gowain

Bunker said...

I've already volunteerd to help with his campaign--have YOU?

I need to get a "My Governor is Kinky" bumper sticker.

ck said...

Hey, if you're going to us a pic from our site at least give us a link!

ck
Jewlicious.com

melinama said...

Kinky sounds great, I love a guy who isn't afraid to launch zingers in public. Good luck, I hope he wins. Love your site.

Anonymous said...

Hiya fellow texans out there
We all been bitching for years about the sorry economy,how these damn corrupt,spineless,egotistical,
money grubbing ,talkin thru the side of their face poloticians been selling us out for years to other countrys and we all been expecting a miracle to come along or let someone else change it.Well looks to me heres your chance so get off your dead asses and go vote for this guy kinky or forever shut your traps.We dont need any more spineless bush's.I gotta go now and try find a good deal on a handfull of them kinky for governor bump stickers.Take care ya'll---TxCountry37--:o)